You’ve decided that the time is right and you are ready to become engaged. Before you go out and buy a designer engagement ring, consider asking for her parents’ blessing first. Traditionally asking for a woman’s hand-in-marriage was a conversation with her father but it can also be extended to both parents. After all, they both raised their daughter so it seems only right that both parents should be asked to bless your union. Some would consider this to be a disappearing custom, but if that is the case – then it’s time for a revival! This is an act of respect and a tradition worthy of preservation. The following suggestions can help prepare you:
- Discuss your plans with your girlfriend first to be sure you are in agreement and ready to take this step.
- Establish a relationship with her parents first so they can get to know you and so you will feel more comfortable asking for her parents’ blessing.
- Plan the best setting for the conversation. Choose whether you will want to take them out or if you will ask for a private conversation in their home. If you are separated by a great distance, asking by webcam or over the phone may not be ideal but can be acceptable under these circumstances.
- Begin by expressing your love for their daughter and point out her qualities you admire.
- Get to the point and show your willingness to honor, cherish and respect her and that you understand and value the commitment of marriage.
- Say that you respectfully request their blessing and support to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage.
If you have any doubts that you will receive her parents’ blessing, then maybe it is time to reevaluate your relationship. This is also true if they cannot offer their support. Consider it an opportunity to have some open dialogue and see if there are ways you can improve your relationship and gain their blessing at another time in the future. Parental opinion is often undervalued but can be very insightful. Good luck!